This is the most useless Astro Markdown demo on planet Earth. Consume with regret and a side of regret sauce.

H1 — I’m Screaming Inside

H2 — What I Ate at 3 AM Like a Fucking Animal

• Large chicken cutlet (extra spicy, extra basil, extra life crisis)
• Salt & pepper squid (because variety is the spice of slowly killing myself)
• Half-sugar less-ice milk tea (I’m basic and I hate myself for it)
• Existential dread (free with every order)

H3 — Am I Beyond Saving?

Probably yeah.

H4 — But at Least the Chicken Still Slaps

This is the only good news I’ve had all week.

H5 — Seriously, It’s Important

H6 — Will the Chicken Ever Leave Me?

(Yes. Because I’m going to fucking devour it.)

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Life is like a chicken cutlet:
Looks crispy and perfect on the outside,
Juicy and warm inside,
But when it’s gone you’re just left with greasy fingers and shame.
— Me, 4:18 AM, staring at an empty plate

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Chicken Cutlet Power Ranking (Totally Scientific)

Tier	Name	Spice Level	Life-Ruining Potential	Worth the Shame?
S	Black Gold Devil Cutlet	Hellfire	11/10	Yes, every time
A+	Garlic Overlord	Face-melting	9/10	Worth it
A	Classic Big Boi	Mild burn	6/10	Safe choice
C	Tiny baby cutlet	No flavor	2/10	Why even bother
F	Vegetarian “chicken”	Pure evil	0/10	Instant regret

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// Ultimate Chicken Detector 3000 (it never fucking works)
function isTheChickenReadyYet() {
  while (true) {
    if (stomach.isScreaming()) {
      console.log("RUN TO THE NIGHT MARKET MOTHERFUCKER!!!")
      return "Chicken has been fucking obliterated"
    }
    continueExistingInMisery()
  }
}

// Warning: running this function causes permanent hunger debuff
isTheChickenReadyYet()